Worms have historically been a boon to farmers, engineering the soil for greater efficiency. The worms in Guild Wars 2's human starter area are not these worms: their segmented bodies are seven feet of reeking, living sausage crammed into armored plates. Their matriarchs are like ravenous telephone poles. What do you you get for culling this demonic herd? The farmer will let you buy her shit, with a currency I didn't even know I was earning. Mysteries within mysteries!

I thought for sure they would not run this strip, and we would be asked to create a new one, but no! It's right here, if you're interested.

I never really understood what the point of putting Bing on the Xbox was, other than the fact that they have a Bing and they want you to Bing stuff. I avoided it because I felt it was manipulative, like introducing me to your "cute cousin" who is "really cool" and who you think I "might have a lot in common with" who only uses "meth" "occasionally." It's presumptive. But the rest of their "experience" is so deep in the usability weeds right now that Global Search is the only way to pan shit out.

We are one week away from PAX Prime people! ONE WEEK!

Doing things "together" is more or less our thing, here, Gabriel and I. Now, I had to horn in at the very beginning, but that's only because I could see very plainly that uploading jpegs to the Internet was a compelling, unassailable business model.

This isn’t official or anything, even though we have done a lot of work for Ubi in the past. This is just some fanart I did for a game I’m very excited to play.

As suggested previously, I backed some hot sauce on Kickstarter which I understood was bizarre even as I was doing it and I await these "fluids" with an admixture of curiosity and terror.

Readers have made it clear that the game was released in a sorry state. I get excited about stuff, too; this was my call, though, and it wasn't the right one. I'm sorry.

Because "games don't have good stories," a good story can be right in front of us and we won't see it. Or the game can be showing us something else, and it will move quickly, and we will become confused; in the face of these quick movings, our leftover rodent wetware isn't always up to the task. Unless the game is about finding nuts, in which case we excel. 10000000 is the latest game in this genre; test my theory, and find its truth.

Heralded by a comic of exquisite manufacture, Team Fortress 2 became a cooperative game with the advent of Mann Vs. Machine.

Our Kickstarter will be closing here in just about two hours. As I type this we are nearing the $500k level. We’ve managed to raise a half million dollars towards the goal of an ad free Penny Arcade. That’s just incredible and I want to extend a sincere thank you to everyone who pledged. We got very close to all ads removed from the front page of the site. As it stands we’ve raised enough to remove the top banner advertisement next year. We will also be creating a new Automata comic. Tycho will be dressed as the Fruit Fucker at PAX and we will start filming the Strip Search web show this fall!

Mike Fehlauher, a man who literally a sword forged to wear at his wedding, stands astride this world and the next. This is an ennobling way to say that he is a huge dork. I called him over the weekend to see if he wanted to press on in our Orcs Must Die 2 campaign, but he didn't answer because he was drinking in the woods with someone literally dressed as an orc. The whole scenario makes me question his dedication, frankly.

D&D Next is a thing and we sat down with Mike Mearls, Senior Manager of D&D R&D at Wizards of the Coast to talk about it. If that actually sounds interesting to you then you’re in luck, because we recorded the entire thing. You can grab part one right here and part two (which just went up today) right here.

Once one o'clock hits, it's apparent that a malevolent alien race seizes our broadcast infrastructure and attempts to vend a manifestly dangerous suite of products, services, and ideas. There is no other explanation for the wholly xenogenic nature of these communiques. They show us black and white videos of women who cannot open jars without a custom apparatus; men for whom a hammer is an inconceivably complex device. To look at a hammer with confusion is a dead giveaway. It's a look that says they would be more comfortable "tamping in" a "spar" with a "kineto."

We have a repository for things we will never publish, under any circumstances, and we have a sub-vault for shirts which must not be printed; excerpts from the latter are presented in today's visual charcuterie. You may have seen these on our table at San Diego Comic-Con, alongside the inexplicable, reader-contributed vaginas and pictures of Finn from Adventure Time fucking some kind of snake. It's also possible that the snake was his dick; there were ambiguities.

We have just one week remaining on our Kickstarter and its been quite the experiment. We’ve raised nearly half a million dollars which is outstanding. Obviously the idea of an add free Penny Arcade appeals to some of you. I think we really underestimated how many of you actually like our ads though. I’d say the number one piece of feedback I got about the Kickstarter was “I love the ads, don’t get rid of them!”