If you're down San Francisco way, and you want to rock in absolute terms while donating to Child's Play, Wired's Chris Kohler and the DNA Lounge have you covered.

It's Dickerdoodle time again! Once again, I'm asking you to send me your pictures of people making/enjoying Dickerdoodles. Just like previous years I'll post the best ones and give out prizes to the winners. You can take a look at what people sent in last year right here (Warning NSFW!). Each year you guys impress me with your depravity. last year saw the invention of the "bucookie" genre. A frosting fantasy that was played out in many a submission. I can't wait to see the fucked up shit you guys come up with this year.

I don't wear nice clothing often enough to remember exactly how it is applied to the body. Every time the Child's Play Dinner rolls around - and this year marks the sixth such occasion - I approach the garment bag like I'm inspecting a crime scene, afraid to disturb it, trying instead to interpret it. As happens with such frequency, I try to imagine what a normal person would do in my situation.

We don't play a lot of Ground War in Modern Warfare 2, by which I mean we don't play any of it, ever. Kiko and I investigated the mode (in our traditional scouting capacity) and determined that what is more than enjoyable at twelve players can become something altogether else at eighteen. It's the experience becoming that much more destabilized, altering the value of your inputs. Killcam footage sometimes looks like it is from another game, perhaps being played somewhere else on the service, by people you do not know.

As Gabe mentioned above, Child's Play has already cracked a million dollars this year - earlier than any previous drive. Indeed, it has grown with such vigor that it can't even be represented on the main site, because Kiko didn't make the bar big enough.  He made a shamefully small bar, and now we've all been made to suffer.  I'm certain that he felt that he could comfortably move into December with this common bar, one that only goes up to a million, but he was wrong wronga wrong wrong.

Well it's Friday and I have your Child's Play update for you.We are currently sitting at $1,010,680.28! That's up from $748,312.10 last week. This is Child's Play's seventh year, and this is the fastest we have ever gotten to the million dollar mark. Considering everything that's going on, that's just astounding.

Logitech's rumored UMD peripheral for the PSP Go is incredibly hilarious. I'm not even saying that's it's true. I'm saying that its apparent necessity is a sad statement that has apparently been lost altogether in the high rate-of-fire environment we rely on for information.

Outside of a distaste for his methods (and a truly vile appellation), we weren't very informative on the matter of the DSD. This video, which captures the Double Shotgun Dude in his native environs, should suffice to explain the matter in its entirety.

I've got another post for all you DM's out there but before I do that I have a minor PAX announcement. I've been getting a lot of mail about the ECA this morning. The Joystiq article is a good break down of what's going on. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it but in the meantime we've gone ahead and pulled the ECA promotion we were running as a part of PAX registration. If the story changes I'll let you know.

With the title of the strip as explicit as possible - and this introductory sentence positioned for maximum emphasis - I feel as though we've done our duty. You really should have completed it by now. I have a mewling, perpetually starving human larvae in my charge, fed via a prosthetic nipple, and I managed to complete it; what's your excuse?

I will usually mention new items when they pop up in the store but I try not to make big buy our stuff posts more than once or twice a year. I made my big Cyber Monday post yesterday and forgot to point out the promotion we had going on. So if you hit the store yesterday you were able to take advantage of our buy 2 shirts get a third shirt for $10. As of midnight last night we changed that. If you check it out today you can try our new promotion. A purchase of $50 or more gets you a $1 poster.

Happy Cyber Monday everyone. I'm told that you guys will be buying all kinds of stuff online today. It just so happens that I sell things online. Maybe we can work something out?

There is a build in Modern Warfare 2 - Tactical Knife, Commando, Marathon, and Lightweight - that we have taken to calling the Witch. They are so called because this nefarious combination results in half-human abominations that can a) run faster than normal, forever, b) fall without damage, and c) teleport to targets killing them instantly. If you're wondering what something like this is doing in a "shooter," whose name ostensibly delineates the standard mode of interaction, well, let us know what you come up with. We're thinking about starting a support group.

We've been talking about First Party for a long time and yesterday the site finally went live. We love making T-shirts and we have no intention of stopping, but not everyone can, or wants to wear T-shirts all the time. Some of you might work in an office during the day or maybe you just want something a little classier in the closet. Honestly First Party isn't going to be for everyone. My guess is that some of you guys are gonna hit the site and scratch your heads. If that's the case it's just not for you and that's fine. I think some of you are gonna check out First Party and really appreciate it though.

If my life was a newspaper you could say that these two comics were "ripped from the headlines". I still have flash backs about my time at Toys R Us and Circuit City. I saw grown women get into fist fights over Tickle Me Elmo. I was cursed out on Christmas Eve for not having Holiday Barbie when the stupid thing had been sold out since June, and just like the comic I've been told a million times to "check in the back."

Here's the second (and final) strip retelling Gabriel's harrowing past as a retail aggressor.