The Beta for Playstation home is now available to everyone, and now you know what I know: this is what happens when your marketing department tries to make a game. Here is everything you need to understand about Home, if you should accidentally launch it from your XMB: press and hold the Playstation button in the center of your Dual-Shock or Sixaxis controller. From the menu that appears, select Quit.

The auction last night was a huge success. We ended up raising just over $200k. Not too shabby for one night. I'm happy to say I did end up taking home the Warcraft statue, although I did end up spending slightly more than eleven dollars. 

One of the weirder things about acting as a charitable hub is that people are always giving you amazingly awesome things that you can't keep. I put up a few shots late last week, and I'm here to tell you that they represent only a thin slice, thin, perhaps even monomolecular.  Treasure is heaped so high here that navigating it has become treacherous. When I want to get to the kitchen, I tell people where I'm going so that a rescue might be forthcoming.

We occasionally "interpret" reality, and so today's strip might appear fanciful, but I assure you that this is actually the sort of bullshit my countrymen get up to.

I AM TRYING TO RUN A CHARITY HERE!

Don't forget to send me your Dickerdoodle pictures. I'll pick a winner on Monday, so the contest won't be going much longer. I've already received some pretty creative entries, I can tell it's gonna be hard to pick a winner. I'm not sure what the prize will be yet but I'm sure it will be exciting. Um....erection.

Here are just a few of the auction items being made available at the Dinner:

The core idea of Prince of Persia is that you will traverse various obstacles in each region, leaping and so forth, until you reach and (subsequently cleanse) that area's "fertile ground." It's a term with incredible euphemistic opportunities, but since it's a phrase that denotes game function, the characters have to say it all the time. They also pronounce it fur-tile, instead of ferdl, which is customary where I live - and I think it's an alien pronunciation for the voice actors too, because every time it comes out of their mouths it is vaguely halting, like they're chewing a mouse. In any case, resist the urge to formulate a Fertile Ground drinking game (Exhibit A).

In my previous life, before I was a professional .jpeg handler, I helped people with their computers. Maybe I should have put the word helped in parenthesis.

I got the link from Dubious Quality, who got it from somewhere else. Doesn't matter.

By which I mean this link.

I have a Lancer, yes. I pretended to saw Gabriel in half with it, which seemed like an act harmonious with the intent of the device - a behavior enshrined in the operating manual. Even though it's a toy, apparently it hurts really bad. The chainsaw doesn't actually run, true, but it is still a series of sharp hooks that you shouldn't rub vigorously against a person's collarbone.

I stayed home today to spend the day with the fam, but I wanted to pop in here real quick and mention the Desert Bus 2: Bus Harder. Watching these kids torture themselves by playing Desert Bus for charity is a real treat. Hit the site now and keep their torment going by making a donation.