People often ask me if they can come visit us at the Penny Arcade office. Some even make comments about how wonderful it must be to work in an environment like this one. I’m here to tell you this is no place you want to be. Let me show you what I see when I turn to my left.

I don't have time to enumerate for you every instance of L. H. Franzibald's bald "acquisitions" from my pure texts. Suffice it to say that I have found a fitting place for his creative output. So there is no confusion, it is the same place I might hurl a soiled tissue or perhaps the wrapper from a King Size Snickers, its noble work having already been accomplished.

I’ve had time to recover now from E3 and I’ll just give you a quick list of what I liked and didn’t like.

They wanted us to do a couple strips for their E3 site, and so we picked a few games we probably would have done comics about anyway.  You can find all that stuff here.

(CW)TB

You never really know what you're going to get out of a visit to Kentia Hall, but it's an adventure I make time for every year.  In a single moment, you will see simultaneously a rack of special gloves with patches on them (???), a plastic enclosure designed to contain a person and digitally change their gender, a shoe that contains an optical mouse, and some kind of space kung fu exhibition.  It's the sort of place you can make no assumptions about.  During one visit, I saw a company which was apparently very big in Korean MMOs trying to make a splash here giving away the client for free.  Nowadays, those guys are kind of a big deal. 

We started talking about some of the things we'd seen in years past, and it wasn't long before we had generated the Kentia All-Stars.

Typically, the spectacle of the Electronic Entertainment Expo is such that each sequential event compresses the one before it, leaving me with three compacted days that begin inflating on the plane ride back and leave me a drooling wretch by Monday.  This time is different; I have complete access to the entire week just as though I were lazily thumbing through a file drawer.  For example, I knew the moment that I gripped the controller for Gears of War that I was in front of the game of the show.  Nothing obscures that information.  Gears is really at a "Halo" level of platform definition, and when your hands close around the gamepad on "emergence day," please remember I said so. 

When we came out of the room where we had been playing it, a kind of illicit zone like an Opium Den, Kiko and I immediately began to discuss how profound the experience was.  At the same time, Mike and Gabe (two separate people!) felt like it was pretty good, but bemoaned its rough framerate and constant tearing.  It is our theory that perhaps some boxes were set to 1080i and some to 720p possibly creating performance disparities, because Keek and myself experienced no framerate abberations worth discussing.  We did briefly experience a vision of a future where we spend every night playing Gears of War online, but I'm not sure that's connected to the vertical resolution.

If I had to say what defines it, I would say that "everything in the game world feels unrelentingly massive."  This is a simulated environment that feels very confident, in that it is about huge armored men hiding behind sturdy cover while bursts of machinegun fire savage your solid fortifications.  Everything you do is made to "feel" large, and when you throw yourself against a hunk of ruined automobile you are not left to wonder whether or not you are a bad ass.  It is clear from the word "go."  A kind of brutal platformer, Gears of War is about leaping from safety to safety, and everything reinforces it.  It feels classic instantly.  Indeed, you could call it Frogger Plus Firearms and not get it wrong.

(CW)TB out.  

It's been a fairly interesting show so far, I don't know how it looks out there, but we made the mistake of seeing two things on the first day that resonated with such power that we haven't been able to top them.

I never understood why Microsoft took up with Sigil Games to begin with, seeing as they'd cancelled their own internal MMO project and divested themselves of the rest, having developed some apparent allergy to the genre.  Brad McQuaid is a name, though, and when he left Sony Online Entertainment to make something new I was surprised to see men, women, and tall cats clad strapped into medieval armor, looking at their surroundings as though they had seen it all before.

Sigil had the opportunity to "buy back the publishing rights," or so says the press release, by virtue of the fact that Microsoft had "varying visions" as to what the title should be.  This is a fun way of putting it.  Waiting at the bus stop as a young man, I often had the opportunity to "get my ass kicked" by three fellows four years my senior.  You might say that we had "varying visions" regarding the intersection of the new track shoe from Puma and the human jaw.  

In any case, the prodigal son has returned - Vanguard has limped home to SOE.  The tone in the release is congenial, but really, where's the fun in that.

Many photons have been emitted by this site regarding E3s past and present - its many luxuries, its hidden caves and pure springs.  Last year's expo was superior to any other human achievement, but still deeply disappointing considering that event's storied lineage.  It was as though the major manufacturers were at the starting line, the gathered throng breathless in the stands, everyone waiting for a pistol that never really went off.  There was a lot of tension and preparation and then there was really a lot of nothing.  Microsoft did the best they could to carry the banner of the Next Generation, and as regular readers are aware I believe in the platform, but they were under the gun and their launch partners were trying to accomplish the impossible with incomplete tools and imaginary hardware. 

That's not true this year.   This year, we'll see second generation Xbox 360 Content, a genuine PS3 presence that amounts to more than fairy tales to lull mainstream media outlets, and (of chief interest to me personally) a revitalized Nintendo with revmotes on hand and industry leading portable experiences. 

There is, without question, bullshot and puppetry and prestidigitation going on at these things.  Not everywhere, but it happens.  I don't take it personally - they are trying not to get lost in the pandemonium of that place, and industry "big fish" have placed multimillion dollar bets on their efforts.  They want you to tell the world what they have done, and so they stretch the truth sometimes.  I would have a hard time calling it evil, exactly, just...  optimized.  All you can do is keep your head on, and assume that everything you see there is running on two cards regular people can't afford one of.

Just a reminder that we will be at the Ubisoft booth on Wednesday and Thursday from 1 to 2 in the afternoon. We'll be signing and giving away some free comics. If you're going to E3 you should come by and say hello.

Most of the time, and let me tell you openly that this is one of those times, I've overjoyed to have gone clean of World of Warcraft.  That sentiment is far from universal in our extended crew, and recent mage alterations did (briefly) cause mon frère d'autre mère some amount of consternation.  I think he was looking for more a more demonstrative cast to the highest tier abilities of each tree, and this is something I can understand, even given my blessed distance from the events in question.  Ever since they let Druids transform into giant owls, I think all classes feel diminished by comparison.

Kiko just finished a new T-Shirt design for all the Annarchy fans out there.

Are you going to E3? Well we will be signing stuff at the Ubisoft booth again this year. The days of security tossing us out into the street are thankfully over. This will be the third year that Ubi has been kind enough to provide with us with a space to do our thing. Just like last year we’ll be handing out a free comic book that collects all the comic projects we did for them last year. Here is a peak at the cover:

Just got an E3 PR blurb for Guitar Hero 2, and I was overjoyed to hear that it listed a few of the playable songs on the new game.  Observe:

The top-secret sequel song list remains firmly in the rock domain,
with more than 55 songs being featured in the next installment.
Confirmed for E3 are seven playable tracks including: "Psychobilly
Freakout," "Strutter," "Who Was in My Room Last Night," "You Really
Got Me," "War Pigs," "YYZ" and "Arterial Black." Also confirmed are
in-game appearances by returning guitar hero Judy Nails and the new
Rockabilly guitarist.