We're just sort of messing around in the strip - but I think the idea of sanctified clans is pretty cool.

I'm actually sort of surprised that there aren't larger, more sophisticated projections of religion into this space.  I keep hearing that movies like Narnia are bolstered by some rushing current of believers, desperate to pile money on even allegorical representations of faith.  You hear about biblical games from time to time, usually in articles that seem surprised about the phenomenon, but I know kids who can only watch Veggie Tales at home.  Given prevailing fantasies about a child's mind being scourged by violent games, the man who could make such a thing work need not enter the gates of heaven to receive his "reward."

In terms of the content, even as a person for whom the document has lost divinity there is still a lot of material in the bible that is highly resonant.  The old testament alone is a (pardon the term) Goddamn quarry from which you could haul potent themes.   You've basically got all the raw materials:  flawed regents, a chosen people in bondage, charismatic leaders, prophecy, magic,  artifacts,  war,  wisdom,  folly...  You would literally have to be retarded not to make this work.  Given the quality of the writing in most games, developers cribbing from the good book would be a "blessing."

As for clans being a type of ministry, I'd be curious to see how productive it is, you know, soul-wise, but it's not particularly suprising.  My brother-in-law did "street-preaching" out in Maine, and it's hard not to see the parallels:  the message is more disarming when delivered in your own context, perhaps from atop a bitching skateboard. 

The reality is that gamers are tremendously difficult to reach.  Speaking only for a very specific subset near the higher age bracket, I essentially don't care about anything and I won't watch television without stripping the commercials from it.  The Army realized this years ago, manifesting a startlingly forward thinking campaign for what I think most people consider a fairly traditional role.   Engage, who recently got in trouble with Valve for doing it, injected marketing messages into rounds of Counter-Strike for the spectacular Chicken Bacon Ranch, which is only $3.99 for a six inch sub.  Coincidentally, it's also available in a meal, which comes complete with a drink and your choice of chips or cookie. 

Who knows how effective it actually is.      

(CW)TB out.

the sandcastle virtues are all swept away

I had my first real taste of the High end raid content in WOW last night. I ran Zul’Gurub with a mixed group of PA guildies. I’ve spent plenty of time in instances like Scholo and UBRS but ZG was an entirely new experience. In any other instance it would be pretty hard for me to wipe the entire party. I’m not uber l33t or anything but I’m no nub either. I know how to play my class and that’s what I do. I may get myself killed on occasion but I’ll never kill the entire raid because of a fuck up. That’s simply not the case in ZG. It feels like each person in the raid has a job to do and if they aren’t doing it perfectly all the time there’s a good chance everyone’s going to die. Honestly I loved it.

I didn't think D&D Online was quite as bad as the comments I've been reading - it'll be interesting to see what Turbine does with the "feedback."  Of course, what I'm playing isn't done, but there are some things in there that I like.

Many games have instanced dungeons now, and then you have games like Guild Wars in which every square foot of the game is instanced, but they don't handle it in the way that DDO does.  When you enter the dungeon, there is a disembodied "gamemaster" that fills in little details and builds tension.   What's more, these areas tend to be more acrobatic than their counterparts in other games:  one jumps and climbs, devious traps must be avoided.  These things combine to make it seem like you are going on little adventures, which is, I assume, the whole point. 

Of course, these are all places which must be constructed, plotted, and populated by hand, and even with three separate difficulty levels you can choose maintaining a high-pressure stream of content that can satisfy a ravenous playerbase seems like a tall order.  I think they legitimately are trying to create style of play which is outside the mainstream of Massively Multiplayer games, and that might actually be their problem.  It turns out that I actually like constraining spell usage to a certain extent, I think it could lead to some truly epic confrontations.  I imagine that - on this and many other points - I am in the minority.

There are experiential things about the game that need work:  I can't stress enough the value of a consistent, attractive, customizable interface.  If your UI does not look as though it was hewn out of raw granite according to firm usability principles, it needs to go.  I hate to compare it to World of Warcraft, and I'll bet they hate it too, but that's resplendent lord of the genre.  Take everything else off the table.  The way that a player interacts with your game needs to feel confident.

I feel like I've played World of Warcraft, and now I would like to play something else.  You might expect me to be dragged into recidivism on that score one more time, the Burning Crusade perhaps.  DDO has some neat ideas, but the presentation of the game's functionality needs to clean up a bit before I'd commit to it.

(CW)TB out.

***Update***

Well they’ve finally done it. Apple has succeeded in cracking my resolve. I was able to resist the siren song of their beautiful cinema displays but these new laptops are just too much. I can’t fight it anymore, I want one of these damn things and I don’t care who knows it.

It's a little weird to hear the virtues of an Intel processor extolled by Apple, but I am prepared to let bygones be bygones if it means we're talking about some dual core shit and ultimately some modern Goddamn clockspeeds.  Let the long war be over!  Let a single hardware spec run both operating systems and be done with it.

I'm wondering if it's possible to love my operating system.  Is that wrong?  I don't love Windows.  I like it, and though many people don't like admitting it Windows succeeds because it does everything most people need.  It's like the Phillips head.  But I don't love the Phillips head, it just happens to turn a lot of screws.

In some bizarre way, I feel like they're taking a step closer to me by utilizing a traditional PC component.  I feel like the hand is out and they are saying Tycho, I mean Jerry, whoever the fuck you are, haven't you seen how our windows warp when they are minimized?  You can minimize a window, and your video will play in there, only smaller - a small person could watch that tiny screen and be happy.  Why can't you be happy, Jerry Tycho? 

Come mimimize one of our elastic windows.

Minimize them.

I had a fantasy where I completely segregated work and play onto different pieces of equipment, and this appealed to my left brain immensely.   Initially I had typed  "my left Brian," and no doubt he too would be pleased by the shift.  But it's simply not realistic.  A low end Mac for my "writings" and a next-gen system for my amusements simply won't satisfy in aggregate.

I don't get excited when I hear that Dell has announced a "quad SLI" gaming rig, I actually get a little sick, imagining the day when such a thing becomes de rigeur - along with dedicated physics processing and God knows what else.  I can do without the mutant, fetish extremes of the hobby.   But as frustrating and costly as gaming on the PC is, I can't be without games like Neverwinter Nights 2 and quirky Korean Massives.  The independent channels that are now beginning to course with content aren't delivering at full pressure on the Mac or home console.  Bioware would be a comfort to me in that cold place, but I can't give up the PC even in protest.     

These are all the things I tell myself, and usually they work.  They've almost entirely lost their vigor.  Don't be surprised if I upload a post  via Safari next month.

(CW)TB out.

but them boys shot him

Between now and the last time I talked to you, Chaos Theory started working - it just downloaded another package.  I really have no idea what's going on with this thing.

(CW)TB

I had some questions about our new book that I figured I’d answer here rather than in emails.

Chaos Theory doesn't work any more than it ever did.  Summit Strike still does, so I guess I'm not sure which universe the "official" 360 compatibility list refers to.

(CW)TB

After seeing that Barbie Horse Adventures was on the list, and recalling this old strip, we really had no choice.

Xbox compatibility for the new system probably hits the high notes for the vast preponderance of gamers, and it should, because they know what people use their console for.  I've been in the frigid room with the equipment that runs Xbox Live, I know that they know what games are being played, how long, by whom, what they were wearing at the time, as well as their top ten albums, and if a constituency for a given title was ou there it was most likely prioritized - and then, whatever just worked got thrown on the list as well.

The issue is that playing old games isn't what I use backwards compatibility for.  I know there are "peeps" who need constant Halo 2 infusions, but I don't look back - I think of the original Xbox as a damned place, a Sodom and/or Gomorrah.  What I need is a technology that will ease the middle period, while the old box is still a viable development target at retail.  My audio/visual shelf is already a treacherous, high-stakes game of Jenga as it is.  There's no physical space for some Goddamn artifact up there.

I had access to the compatibility list when I brought it home, so I'm not saying that I was somehow deceived regarding the capabilites of the machine - they are simply unfolding a different strategy than the one in my naïve fantasy. 

They released a compatibility update earlier in December that added much of Ubisoft's Live ouvre for the original box, but a Halo issue caused them to pull it.  Between the time we wrote the strip on Friday and the time I finished this post, they appear to have re-released the compatibility update.  I'll verify this of course, I haven't seen it anywhere.  But having Chaos Theory back would take the sting out a litte bit.

(CW)TB


I know it's past visiting hours

The last two missions in the Chaos Theory co-op campaign - the ones that were available for download, didn't work, and were then removed - have just been made available again.  They already hit for the PC version, and months ago - but that's not the version I own.

(CW)TB

Our new book "Attack of the Bacon Robots" ships on the 25th of this month. To celebrate we’re going to do a book signing that day over at the Comic Stop in Lynwood. They will have around 400 copies of the book available. You should also be able to order it via Think Geek within the next few days, although it won’t ship until the 25th. This is really exciting for us. Dark Horse has been great to work with and the book turned out awesome. I hope you guys will come out to the Comic Stop at the end of the month and help us celebrate.

We need to stop writing comics around lunchtime, I'm thinking. 

Alan Wake is a game that emerged at E3, and then receded just as quickly - but if the sometimes wishful mathematics of retail websites hold, it's supposed to show up in stores around the end of the month.  There isn't much to know about the gameplay, but I do suffer from writer protagonitis, a condition that makes me unable to resist games, books, and movies that feature an author as the main character.  

Hatching at the end of January, it falls quite naturally into that belated Christmas only the gamer is privvy to.  Things came out this Christmas, and I purchased them with money, but there were games that I expected to constitute some portion of my seasonal revelry that never materialized.   This is because they were shunted into a kind of strange and wonderful second holiday, which extends from January clear through March - or, in the profane syllables of business language, Q1.

You don't need to look far to see that happy days are here again, and will be for months.  I'm thinking about the 360 specifically, because so many titles that were clearly meant to reside wrapped under pagan icons are starting to sheepishly emerge.  The launch got mixed reviews here and elsewhere, but those companies were developing that software on an essentially liquid platform.   Seeing those launch titles as I saw them in October, debased, their timely, functional release was a Christmas fucking Miracle.

Download the Fight Night 3 demo off Live if you want to see what happens when EA actually levels their considerable weaponry at next generation content.  I've had a lot of fun at their expense, but God damn.  I imagine getting the most out of a console becomes a lot easier when that console is not hypothetical.

Only one example, of course.  Over our the course of our three month festival, Oblivion will emerge from its namesake and take up its rightful place in my tray.   There are other "polished ports"  that will make themselves known, as well as a few unknown quantities, but by the time the first of March rolls around, the 360 will become a much less opaque proposition.  Xboxes and the Splinter Cells to prove them out is an old equation I'm not likely to tire of anytime soon.  Watching Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter warp and shift with each media drop has been fascinating, though. 

It went from being the most talked about clip at the last E3 to a series of screenshots which were mindblowing to a series of screenshots that were Goddamn .jpeg abortions to a series which looked okay, and everything I've seen recently seems to imply that we're edging back toward delicious.  

(CW)TB out.

there's still time

Mike Fehlauer just came in here, trying to start some shit, and I shot his contact out.  Velcro barbs raked across his cornea.  If you are considering rolling up in, ask yourself:  do you value your eyes?  How about the sensitive ocular nerve.   Where does that shit rank in your hierarchy? 

(CW)TB

Shortly before Christmas, we became obsessed with Nerf weaponry - to the extent that the interaction of face and dart needed to be set down in an organized, agreed upon way.  It really hasn't worked.  As is the way with rules, all we've managed to do is highlight those behaviors which are most delicious - and then dare a person to try them.

You can take Nerf very, very seriously, provided you can overlook the foam ordnance and blaring neon chamber.  Modifications for stock weapons (above and beyond your cosmetic improvements) are incredibly diverse, everything from tension spring replacements to a custom "burstcap" round whose nub marks the target with a tablespoon of hyrdrochloric acid.   

We have come to rely upon the Maverick for day in/day out foam combat, but we are considering a couple Nite Finders to serve as "go-to" sidearms.   Gabriel purchased the Rapid Fire awhile back, a twenty shot air-pump gatling contraption which is certainly intimidating but one rarely has time to reload it when harmless sucker-tips or haunting whistlers begin to fly. 

I haven't seen commercials of any kind for a very long time, so maybe my resistance is just low - but I had a dream about the N-Strike Unity System last night after seeing the video.  I too want to coalesce from the shadows and bring death.  Or, welts.  In any event, I want to shoot Robert.  He's made it clear, however, that if the arms race escalates to foam rocket launchers, he will leave the company.  I'm mulling it over.  

I've had a chance to play an almost stupid amount of Oasis since last we spoke, enough to see something almost like a Minesweeper RPG within it.  Understand that by that point, my eyes had been open for several hours without blinking.

(CW)TB out.


it's something that daisies all do

My brotherman Steven Lynch up at HardOCP just kicked over a link to his newest project - a watercooled 360, just like the title.  He gets a lot of use out of that 360 - he's a fixture on my Friends List, doing battle with Tiger Woods in the manicured battlefields we associate with the sport.  I wonder if this was a project box, or his daily machine.  I'll find out how it works for him long term.

(CW)TB