Skip Nav

Advertisement

Mouth Crimes Department

This has been my doom from the very beginning, all my life. Most of the words I know I got from books, which I thought were my friends, but they don't necessarily have pronunciation keys and also the English language is a kaleidoscopic whorehouse.

Enforcers in Australia!

By Gabe – August 17, 2015

If you have a dream in your heart, and that dream is to enforce at PAX Australia. Then I hope you fill out and turn in your application today by midnight Melbourne time. If you are not sure what Melbourne time is I have a simple trick to figure it out. Look at the current time and then just add three kangaroos!

Peephole

I'm not worried about Star Wars Overload in the slightest. I guess this is a problem for some people. I want to replace one or more of my limbs with sentient, crystallized Star Wars. Amy Fucking Hennig is making a Star Wars game? I'll take two. And you might think that such a position represents enthusiasm, and perhaps it does, but enthusiasm is a spectrum and there is apparently room on this diagram to the right of me.

Advertisement

Freaks And Beaks

How HBO has remained a thing of value from cable to VHS through the digital age is a topic worth investigating. By, like, a smart person. I'm not gonna do that.

Very Similitude

Writing about depression isn't like dancing about architecture, as the saying goes; it's more like dancing about dancing inside a hologram derived from Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater. Two people being depressed have as much in common as any other two people. We've spoken on a semi-regular basis about this creature, hunched in the corner, sussurating its observations. Gabriel and I entertain devils, but they aren't the same devils. The devils don't even like each other. Even our coping strategies for this shit are antisocial.

Advertisement

It's Still Too Late

There's so much that you could say about "the time magazine cover," and there is a cottage industry dedicated entirely to this purpose, gripping it firmly and rasping it on a rasper. I've seen like one paragraph of the article, and a couple of the images, because it doesn't exist and isn't important. It's a Wild West facade; there is no Saloon here. If I tried to find the real article, I think it would just be a picture of Joel Stein with a sheepish downward gaze, hands in his pockets, saying "Aw, shucks" while wearing whatever the facial equivalent of a smiley emoticon is.

Advertisement

Holyhedron

When I was a child, my mother told me that woolly mammoths weren't real, and that the devil - or God, I can't remember - had placed tusks and dinosaur bones or whatever to test the faithful. So now that people are making dice from these things, I don't know if my mom was wrong, or if Satan is just very committed to the joke.

Club PA Comic Preview

By Tycho – August 6, 2015

We just handed the Club PA exclusive strip for August over to Robert - it's a comic about the enthusiastic, possibly unrelenting fanservice of Ernest Cline's Armada. Gabriel thought Tycho's face in panel 3 was pretty bonkers and he may be right: