Gabe's dad is kinda like a Dad Dad. He's like a diagram of a dad, with all the dad parts, all the… phalanges, that dads always have, and we can compare other dads to that dad in order to determine a kind of universal score.

I am often surprised by things that aren't that surprising. This is something that you have probably noticed if you spend any time around here. I am just trying to think my thoughts, and invariably I am interrupted by some kind of fucking nonsense.

You will be hard pressed to exist on the Internet without seeing tons of that insane Google ANN Shit. When I say Insane Shit, I'm talking about those piles of slimy, wet dogs people keep sending you. Specifically I'm referring to the greasy, omniscient dogs made of paisley slop worshipping birds that dwell in an infinity of jade pagodas.

In the same way that one may have a dream, or a series of dreams, or single dream which perforates the entirety of one's life about being naked at school (which somehow manages to be horrifying every time), whenever I see the letters SDCC together I can feel my ribs start to squeeze my heart. I understand that these symptoms vary from person to person.

PATV got a new episode of Livescream today. I'll just drop it in here:

GOLF.

We’re ready to launch our latest Kickstarter and I’m really excited to finally tell you about it. I know I hinted at it a while back, but now you can finally see what we’ve been up to. Or I guess what our friend Van has been up to.

Yes, that's correct: Kim Swift of Portal, Left 4 Dead, and Quantum Conundrum fame will illuminate the gathered throng. She's been over at Amazon for awhile now, working on "AAA PC Games," but nobody knows what that means yet. She also invented the Companion Cube, which all by itself places her in the Internet Pantheon. We've been trying to match schedules for years now, years plural, and I'm glad we were finally able to work it out.

The Child's Play Invitational is coming up quick and we have created a contest to give away some tickets. This is a fun event with a "real" golf tournament but it also has mini golf, alcohol and barbecue. Here's a pic of some Penny Arcade folks obviously taking my favorite sport very seriously.

If you have been watching any of our new PATV shows you've probably noticed the titles. They were done by Gavin and Dabe and I think they all look great. We've got two of them available on shirts now and for the first time ever, they are available in extra small. So if you are an extraordinarily small person, you can finally wear a Penny Arcade shirt that fits you properly.

Watch us play and fall in love with Farming Simulator 15:

I spent the weekend in Spokane, which wise men call Ulk Shambol or "The Dream Grave." I usually get in trouble when I talk about the town my mom lives as though it is the sort of place Lord Sauron would amass his evil armies, which is, you know, an exaggeration for comic effect. In truth, I only felt his baleful, seeking eye once.

I’ve been working on the characters for our Nightlight story at the end of the month. Most of the time when I sit down to draw characters, it’s little boys or guys that come out. I can draw those characters and make them feel authentic because I know them. I can tell those stories because they are my story to some degree. When I sat down to make Grace I knew it would be a challenge.

We're both gonna try to get out of town to varying degrees at the end of July, ahead of the Six Month World Tour that is PAX, and we've thought of various ways to manage that span - we'll be gone maybe six strips or so, which is how we have come to reckon time.

He legitimately wanted to know what that shit tastes like. Not good, I would say. Not potable in the classic sense. Tangy in absolutely the wrong way. You can also get XP in Destiny by, like, doing bounties and stuff. No fluids are required. #Lifehax