Page Two of "How The Illithid Stole Lolthmas" is now available. Hopefully that's a good thing? Every now and then I am allowed to write poetry for the site, and I relish the opportunity.  It's something I do more or less constantly anyway:  if I crack an egg, for example, typically the egg cracking is accompanied by a song which details the process. I turned in a couple papers for AP English in verse.

Prepare yourself for four full days of D&D related wankery. For edification purposes, "Illithid" is an even dorkier way to say Mind Flayer. As for Mind Flayers, this comic tells you pretty much everything you need to know.

It's Friday and that means a new show on PATV. Today we've got episode three of the series available and next Friday will be the premiere of Blamimations. This particular episode is about the writing process but it's not one of the video podcasts I mentioned earlier. Those are called the 4th Panel and they are just like the podcasts in that you're sort of a fly on the wall while we make a comic strip. This episode has some writing in it, but it's more us talking about how we make PA.

I'm on record as saying that game length isn't an especially good indicator of, well, anything really, except perhaps game length, of which it may be considered a key indicator. I do find it interesting however that - at completion - I've played Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes four times longer than I played Uncharted 2, even including the multiplayer. Considering the thirty dollar ante, this is a ri-goddam-diculous amount of entertainment for the money - in raw dollars, it is quite likely the master of the season.

The Dante's Inferno demo is a demo that must be played. It's funny, but given what they're attempting here it really shouldn't be. Weird is the word; it's the result of so many warring drives that teasing out the throughline becomes difficult. You can impale dudes on your scythe and them throw them, which has kind of a lacrosse vibe. Lacrosse is pretty cool. Outside of that, I'm not sure I have much use for it.

The Dante's Inferno demo was a nasty, incoherent facsimile of an existing product, and worse, it doesn't seem to understand what makes the original worthy of emulation.  I've played demos that didn't communicate the actual product before - TRON 2.0 being the most grave example - so who can say what it means for the destiny of the retail product.  This demo pierced the natural curiosity that might have weakened me in a retail context, and for this I am grateful.  

I've gotten a lot of requests from people wanting to know what I think of my nook. I've read all the same reviews that you guys have and most of them are not very favorable. I think I might be coming at it from a slightly different perspective though.

I'm not sure exactly what the deal is with Tony Hawk, if the people in his orbit just never disagree with him, or if he operates in some kind of psychic Faraday cage, or what. But it's asinine in the extreme to suggest that there's no cause for displeasure with his product other than a spirit preemptively poisoned against his noble works.

I want to make sure everyone knows about the Dickerdoodle contest so I'm gonna repost the announcement from yesterday:

We've finally gotten through all the Katamari contest entries and picked our three winners.

If you pre-ordered the Nook a sufficiently long time ago, they ship it to you overnight - and Gabriel's arrived at the office yesterday afternoon. As a person with no fetish for technology, the "unboxing video" holds within it no magic; my cohort finds their barely contained eroticism irresistible. We've tried to contain the illicit character of the form in today's strip. The last panel attempts to marry a satirical voice with an assertion of genuine truth, which is that the film that protects our new devices - and the gentle tug, as it resists - is one of this life's great pleasures.

We were wrong.

If you're down San Francisco way, and you want to rock in absolute terms while donating to Child's Play, Wired's Chris Kohler and the DNA Lounge have you covered.

It's Dickerdoodle time again! Once again, I'm asking you to send me your pictures of people making/enjoying Dickerdoodles. Just like previous years I'll post the best ones and give out prizes to the winners. You can take a look at what people sent in last year right here (Warning NSFW!). Each year you guys impress me with your depravity. last year saw the invention of the "bucookie" genre. A frosting fantasy that was played out in many a submission. I can't wait to see the fucked up shit you guys come up with this year.

I don't wear nice clothing often enough to remember exactly how it is applied to the body. Every time the Child's Play Dinner rolls around - and this year marks the sixth such occasion - I approach the garment bag like I'm inspecting a crime scene, afraid to disturb it, trying instead to interpret it. As happens with such frequency, I try to imagine what a normal person would do in my situation.