I want to talk about Assassins Creed but first I need to get something out of the way. I have a lot to say about the game and I want to talk about some of the bad reviews it's getting but I want to make sure everyone understands I'm not saying this because of the comic we did for them. So I'm going to link you to an old set of news posts about Prince of Persia 2. Feel free to read those and come back if you like.

Now I'm going to tell you how advertising on PA works. Every other game site out there takes ads for whatever game they can get. It doesn't matter if it's a pile of crap, if the publisher pays for the spot IGN or Gamespot or whoever will run the ad. That's fine but that's not how we do it and the news posts you just read are part of the reason why.

We were huge fans of the first Prince of Persia game so when Ubi came to us and wanted to run ads for the second we said yes. We had no idea they were going to completely fuck it over. So from then on we started demanding playable copies of games before we'd agree to advertising. No matter how early the build we tell the publishers that unless we can see it played in front of us or play it ourselves we won't run ads for it. Obviously a lot can still go wrong during development but we make the best decisions we can. We do not think of the ads you see on our page as ads. They are recommendations and we try extremely hard to insure that anything we put over there is worth your time. When Prince of Persia 2 came out and we saw that it was crap we said as much on the site. Ads for the game appeared right next to those news posts slamming it. Needless to say Ubi wasn't very happy and Robert got some angry phone calls but our loyalty is to our readers not the people paying the bills. We explained to Ubi that the reason our ads perform better than any other site out there is because our readers trust us and that means we have to admit when something we advertise doesn't turn out as good as we hoped. Obviously they understood because we're still advertising their games but like I said this isn't the way other sites operate. I actually give Ubi a lot of credit for not just telling us to fuck off and buying more ads on IGN and Gamespy with the extra money.

I'm telling you all this because I want you to understand that if Assassins Creed actually was a 7.0 game I'd tell you. I also want you to know that when I tell you it's fucking incredible I'm not bullshitting you because we're running ads for the game.

There are about four or five reviews of the game with scores in the low to mid 7's. I want to cover some of the common complaints these reviewers had in case anyone out there is worried about them.

Many of the reviews say that the ending is bad. Obviously I don't want to give away any spoilers but I will say that the final confrontation was exciting and gratifying. It was an extremely satisfying ending to this chapter of the game. Chapter is the important word here. This is a huge story, probably a trilogy at least. The game does end with a cliff hanger and it certainly sets up the rest of the arc but that's how the first part of any multi part story ends. If Star Wars had ended with Luke jumping into his X-Wing to go take on the Death Star that would be a shitty fucking ending. It doesn't though, Luke destroys it and then we get hints about what's in store for our heroes. I'm telling you right now Altair destroys his Death Star.

Mass Effect is good: I have already established this in the post, and my glowing appraisal echoes what you feel in your own heart to be true. But it has things to answer for, and it will be made to in a new series called Nitpicking.

I got an interesting mail this morning from Daniel Erickson the principal lead writer over at Bioware Austin. He says they have an opening in their writing staff and he's having a hard time filling it. Daniel wanted to know if he could put the word out here on Penny Arcade and I'm more than happy to help. So do you want to write for the new Bioware MMO?

----------------------------

Hey Guys,

So here's the situation we're in. BioWare games require a great deal of
writing. Storylines, world building, characters, journals - and about a
bazillion lines of dialogue. What makes my job harder is not only does
all of this writing have to be high quality - something not always
demanded in our industry - it can only be done by writers who understand
the complexities of interactive fiction. Take the average screenwriter
who doesn't play RPGs, place him in front of the writing tool from
Neverwinter Nights and you'll get a linear story with a complete lack of
Player agency and no interesting decisions. Just trying to explain the
concept behind writing without a protagonist to someone who has never
even been a dungeon master can be like showing card tricks to a dog.

Which brings me to the current problem. The BioWare MMO is the largest
thing we've ever done by leaps and bounds. We're talking a double digit
writing staff working for years (yes we've already been working for well
over a year). Now I've realized I need even more writers and I've got no
reliable way of predicting where they're going to come from. In the
history of the company, we've had published fantasy authors,
screenwriters and editors all wash out of BioWare's training program. On
the flip side, we've had fantastic kids right of college, an ex CNN
producer and a former gift wrapping clerk from Singapore all succeed in
the BioWare writer family. Previous job of lead writer for Baldur's Gate
2, the highest rated PC RPG in history? Travelodge manager.

So yes, we're shaking the usual trees and our HR folks are turning over
all the rocks they can think of but I had to go through over three
hundred qualified candidates to find the team I have now so a lot of
those trees have done already been shook. With that level of challenge
around finding writers, I want to throw out an open invitation for
anyone out there that thinks might be the strange combination of RPG
fiend and talented writer to grab a copy of Neverwinter Nights and start
putting together a writing sample. I don't care if you can script, just
put three guys in a field and attach conversations to them. Make the
plot compelling, write the NPCs as real people who could exist in a
believable world even if the PC wasn't there, give me an interesting
choice or two and you're done -- easily something can be done over a
weekend and there's a ton of great community support online if you're
really tech deficient.

Anyone out there want to write for the game company with three of the
top five rated RPGs of all time on their biggest project ever?

Head here: BioWare Jobs

The Arcadia Battle Academy is meeting again tomorrow night. We're meeting every other Tuesday now at the Comic Stop. If you're interested, it's 6pm to 8pm and it's all Pokemon all night. I just wanted to post a reminder to all those attending that the new Secret Wonders expansion is nowavaliable . I know some of you guys are working hard to beef up your starter decks. The most important thing you can do is get a good bunch of supporters in there. Secret Wonders actually introduces some great new supporters like Roseanne's Research and Team Galactic's Mars. It's also got two new Lvl. X Pokemon for the Psychic and Dark decks out there. I think we've got about twenty people right now, kids and adults. We'd love to have more though. If you're into the card game or you want to get into it you should definitely come by.

I'd also like to direct everyones attention towards a couple Child's Play auctions.

The first is a PAX 2007 signed Guitar Hero Guitar. I actually remember seeing this thing making the rounds at PAX this year and the list of autographs is pretty impressive. Here's a "mostly complete list":

* Tycho and Gabe
* Wil Wheaton
* Jonathan Coulton
* Caitlin Glass (Winry from FMA)
* Gus Sorola, Geoff Ramsey, and Burnie Burns (Simmons, Grif, and Church from RvB)
* Harmonix Employees (Makers of Guitar Hero): Alex Rigopulos (Co Founder), Sean Baptiste (Community Director), Dan Teasdale (Senior Programmer)
* Dave Grossman (Co-Creator of Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle, and the new Sam and Max)
* Ron Gilbert (Co-Creator of Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion)
* Members of Optimus Rhyme
* Members of The MiniBosses
* Liz Enthusiasm from Freezepop
* MC Frontalot

The auction actually ends tomorrow so if you're interested best to get over there now.

The other auction is for all your WOW players out there. Shelbi of the Bronze Kettle is auctioning off her ridiculously cute Warcraft illustrations. You'll get a drawing of your character that you can use however you like as well as a little charm you can attach to the mobile device of your choice.

The auction ends on the 15th so follow this link for more details and to make a bid.

Also a reminder that you can now purchase tickets for the Child's Play dinner and Auction. Details and tickets here.

Thanks to everyone out there in the community supporting Child's Play this year. We should have our first update to the donation bar soon.

-Gabe out

Everyone is grabbing Super Mario Galaxy, right? Right?

MC Frontalot is kicking off a big November tour. Will he be playing at a venue near you? You can hit this site for all the shows and dates. If he's going to be within four or five states of you I recommend making the drive. I don't mean the little bullshit states they have over on the east coast either. I mean big manly states like we have over here.

Child's Play is in full swing and I am proud to report that this is the best start we've ever had. There are tons of fund raising events being planned all over the world this year. We have a couple of our own that I wanted to remind everyone of. First is the charity poker tournament. It will be Saturday December first at the Comic Stop. You can get all the details right here. If you're in the area it's a really fun night and a great way to help Child's Play.

Also, you can now purchase tickets for this years Child's Play charity dinner and auction. Here's the lowdown:

Since its inception in November 2003, gamers and geeks around the world have raised over two million dollars in toys, games, and cash for sick kids through Child's Play. Our annual fund raising dinner auction is the headline event for the drive; please come out for a delightful evening and support the gamers' charity!

The evening begins Tuesday, December 11 at 6:30 pm, on the 4th Floor of the Washington Convention Center (Skybridge). Meet Gabe and Tycho from Penny Arcade, browse and bid on silent auction items while you enjoy hors d'oeuvres, wine, and good company. Dinner and the live auction will commence at 7:30.

Attire: Semi-Formal, no jeans please. Tuxedos welcome! Show off a little for your friends and peers.

I look forward to this night all year. I want to stress that we'll have tons of items there for all price ranges. It's true that in years past we've had people in bidding wars standing up at their tables and raising the price of items by tens of thousands of dollars with each new bid. We've also got items in the silent auction that go for under fifty bucks. Honestly just attending the dinner is a great way to support the Charity and even if you don't bid on a single item I guarantee an unforgettable evening.

You can purchase your tickets right now through Brown Paper Tickets.

I don't actually find the elements described that troubling, in fact, I need these elements like vitamins to ensure the normal regulation of my body.

I just wanted to make a little addendum to my last post.

I'm well aware that for every John working at an EB there's fifty guys who are actually doing an awesome job. I've been into those stores as well. When I hit the Lynnwood mall, Redmond town center, or Bellevue I always talk to great people. The problem is that this store is right next to our office. Also I've done my tour of duty in the retail trenches so I understand that the guys in the stores don't make the policies. I did three Christmas seasons at Toys R Us and anyone who's been through one of those can tell you it's hell. I remember the Tickle Me Elmo Christmas like veterans remember old battles. I also worked at Circuit City where I saw the true face of corporate evil. We were all forced to push extended warranties, erm I mean "performance guarantees" on our customers. I know how shitty you feel trying to sell someone on something they don't want or need. I remember we used to have morning meetings where we would tell our managers about the various reasons customers would give us for not purchasing a warranty . The manager would then tell us what the proper response would have been in order to counter the customers reason and get them to purchase the warranty. One of our home audio guys stood up and said his customer was an extremely old man. Bent over and wrinkled the man explained he did not need a five year warranty because he would probably not live that long. The manager at the time Chris (Hi Chris I know you're reading this) told him that he should have explained to the customer that the warranty was transferable. Doesn't he want the person who receives the stereo after his death to have the peace of mind that a full five year performance guarantee delivers?

That's a special kind of evil.

Chris isn't even a bad guy is the thing. That's just the sort of person you're forced to become in that environment.

So I know all about retail and I know who's calling the shots. My problem with EB policy is that I think it's downright shady. I got literally dozens of emails from employees all over the country telling me that it is their store's policy not to sell popular games to customers on launch day unless they have a pre-order. They are literally being told not to sell the games they have in order to teach customers a lesson about pre-ordering. Now that shit is evil. I can't even imagine how shitty I'd feel as an employee being forced to do something like that.

I wanted to share another interesting mail I got. This is from a reader in Montreal:

We went out yesterday afternoon to pick up Call of Duty 4. I was ready to grab it based on Tycho's recommendation. We hit the local EB and we were told they didn't have any copies for customers who didn't pre -order. I looked around at the store. It was full of  posters, giant novelty game boxes and cardboard standees all advertising Call of Duty 4. The strategy guide was displayed front and center right there on the counter. But I'm supposed to believe that they didn't receive a single extra copy of the game? They didn't think anyone else might want to buy one? I've never had any kind of problem purchasing games without a pre -order from this store in the past. I've always been able to walk in on launch day and grab as many copies of whatever game I want. Now all of a sudden I'm being told there's no games for me?

Now I don't know if the manager over there John (a.k.a the goblin king) has decided to blacklist us, but something seemed fishy. Other people from the PA crew have had similar experiences in his store since the comic. Someone looking for a game was told by John that he "didn't think they had it." when he was pressed to actually check and see he turned around, glanced at the case behind him and said "nope don't have it." This could just be the sort of classic douchebaggery we've come to expect from him, but I'm starting to think there may be something more sinister going on.

I continued trading in the games I had brought and mentioned to Tycho that we should just run across the street to Best Buy and get COD 4. John piped up from atop his over turned apple crate. "They won't have it until tomorrow" he told us. Actually Best Buy had plenty. In fact they had so many they actually had them stacked next to the registers in case people wanted to buy them. This is what shopping in a fucking store is like! You go in and buy what you want. You can take your 28 confessions and shove them up your fucking ass. How about instead of giving me a 40 paragraph strategy guide so I can shop in your pawn shop without getting screwed you just sell me a game when I ask for it.

It's funny, in the end it turns out I'm not a big fan of COD 4. I tossed it in last night and played through the first handful of levels. It certainly looks great but I think Rainbow 6: Vegas has really spoiled me. The lack of a cover system in COD is really frustrating to me. It looks and feels like a tactical squad shooter. Only I don't have any ability to play tactically or control my squad. The enemies can blind fire from behind cover but apparently I can't? My teammates can shoot the hinges off a door and then kick it in but I can't so much as jiggle a doorknob? After R6 I never thought I'd have to toss a flash bang into a room by standing in the middle of the doorway again. Visually it's a real stunner but game play wise it feels dated to me.

I doubt very seriously that I have anything of substance to add regarding the Writer's Guild Strike, though we have ostensibly done a comic on the topic, even though it was mostly an opportunity for Gabriel to draw a dinosaur. The Writers Guild is dealing with the same issues that Musicians have been dealing with, that is to say, compensation when the same work takes on a different form in this baffling digital age. The way contracts are currently written, there is some magical distinction between content that is broadcast on television, played from a disc, or streamed online. It's hard to imagine there are people who actually claim to believe this kind of mysticism.

Trying to figure out how you can make a DS game out of a next-generation sandbox title where you prowl through an entire era of history seems like kind of a tough nut. Seriously tough, like the dense iron nuts that fall from the Unending Oak, that which is called by elves Perpetua. Utilizing (and, I believe, expending) a great deal of our influence, we were able to discern the truth of it: a radical departure from the franchise proper, whose adorability index has pierced the cuddle threshold.

It is often the case that people thank me for Child's Play, even though it is a globally distributed effort and I am, at best, a kind of hyperactive mascot. I accept their gratitude, on your behalf. Indeed, I accept their gratitude on their behalf! They are thanking me for the opportunity to be excellent. We are glad to be of service.

Gabriel sometimes suggests that he doesn't give "two shits" about something, which is meant to imply that he is apathetic about it - very apathetic. It's always struck me as ambiguous. Buried within the phrase is the possibility that he might be willing to give a single shit. Manhunt 2 - which I'm told is very controversial, mostly by people who don't actually follow the medium - is a game neither of us have the slightest interest in. We also don't know anyone who is interested in it, but then, it's been a long time since I did things just to make my parents mad, which seems to be the game's entire purpose.

So Tycho already talked about our match against the guys over at SOE. Even though we lost again I'd say it was still one of our best. Part of that probably has to do with me finally winning my first match. When we got there they introduced their team starting with their team captain. They yanked the sheet off and there stood Diabolus in all his glory. Here's the comic in case you forgot it and here's a picture of the actual robot they built.

I suppose it is Halloween, a date which has historically called for scarifying content. Though it was not our intention to deliver horror, there is a horrifying subtext when you consider the unbridled power retailers have over what you can play.

Pork is here. He won't leave. Who invited him? Not me. I'm so angry.

If you were able to grab a copy of Eye of Judgment last week you might be interested in this EOJ tournament. It's being organized by our Forum and sign ups are going on right now through Wednesday. You can get all the details right here.

Our Pokemon League will be meeting again tomorrow night at the Comic Stop. Last week we had about thirty people show up and it was a blast. Our plan for tomorrow is to try and start as close to six as possible. We got a late start last time and that limited the number of games we were able to play. I think we will try and do 40 min rounds which means if we start on time three rounds should be easy. Also, don't forget that the new expansion Secret Wonders comes out November 7th. I actually attended a prerelease event for the new expansion over the weekend and scored some boosters. I know a few other people from our crew made it out to the event as well so there should be quite a few of the new cards floating around tomorrow night. We'll have the miniatures there again and you Diamond/Pearl players are also welcome. We've got our own forum now so please use it. Feel free to post deck ideas or trading requests. I know we've got a few people in there that are experts so if you have any questions about cards or strategies post them.

Finally, thank you all very much for the kind words regarding the artwork recently. The last two strips have been a lot of fun to draw.  Having the entire joke rest on the art is always a lot of pressure. I had a few people ask if Tycho is involved in the strips with no text and the answer is yes. We still sit down together and "write" them. In fact in the case of the Ratchet and Clank comic we actually had dialogue for each panel and then Tycho said "can we do it without text?" It was a challenge but I think that decision made it a much stronger comic.

-Gabe out