I uploaded a new image to gabeart. Oh, and I uploaded a new gabeart.

Gabriel: I hope blue reads my confidential
Tycho: i hope blue catches ebola and his face melts off
Gabriel: hah
Gabriel: after he reads my confidential
Tycho: well, yeah
Tycho: maybe we should put this in the post
Tycho: except for the part about putting it in the post
Gabriel: you should
Gabriel: yeah and the part about you should
Tycho: control-c, control-v
Tycho: just like the pros

Gather round kids and let Uncle Gabe tell you a story. I was maybe eight or nine years old and living with my family in Spokane. The house we lived in was constantly invaded by large black beetles. As a young boy I was never keen on disposing of them in a reasonable fashion. So I would take my mothers Tupperware bowls and simple cover the little bastards up. When my father would come home from work he would find the bowls and get rid of the offending insects while discouraging me from ever doing that again. One day apparently sick of my antics my dad simply moved the bowl a few feet towards my bed. I returned to my room to find the bowl in a different spot and immediately attributed it to the massive strength of the bug contained within. Its choice of direction and distance covered not only implied that he knew where I slept but that he would reach it in short order. Needless to say I was scarred for life. Flash forward 13 years. In every marriage there needs to be one person who accepts the role of bug killer. Kara and I discovered early in our marriage that neither one of us can stand insects. Mere weeks after our glorious union we sat huddled on the couch cursing and shaking our fists at a tiny spider who had somehow managed his way into our home. As we looked at each other we realized that we had no bug killer. “I just assumed you would kill them” she said. “Well I just assumed you would kill them” I retorted. As the years went by I unwillingly took up the mantle of exterminator. I was eventually able to handle all the various bugs Spokane could throw at me. It wasn’t until we moved here to Seattle that I was once again reduced to a blubbering fool huddled on the couch, too scared to even move. These spiders are huge. I’m talking Land of the fucking Lost huge. This is some serious science fiction shit I’m dealing with here. I sucked one up with the vacuum cleaner and then backed away from it slowly. I looked at Kara and she told me to throw the vacuum away and we would just buy another one. Immediately I made my way with it to the dumpster. As I went though I calculated the expenses associated with purchasing a new vacuum cleaner each and every time we saw a spider. At the rate we were encountering these mutant arachnids we would spend the rest of our life in debt to Target. It was then that we made the decision to have our apartment filled with poisonous gas. The next few days were like a fucking vacation. We were walking around barefoot again like we were on some kind of tropical beach. Then I found a note scrawled on a piece of notebook paper and left near my bedside table. It said in shaky handwriting as if written during the agonizing moments before death, “This is not over.”

Gabe and Kara were driven from their home by gigantic arachnids earlier this week, while professionals filled their home with poison. Where we're from originally, Spokanistan, they have spiders, but they don't go to school or some shit like they do here. They don't eat birds or drive cars, for example. Spiders on this side of the state can legally marry.

These America's Army games really seem to enrage some people. I have it under good authority that Brenna's not crazy about them either. That's fine, you can all be wrong together.

I also wanted to draw your attention to our sponsors this month. The fine folks at Arush and Rockstar have stepped up to the advertising plate for all of June. Please be sure and help us out by giving them a little clickity click. Rockstar it seems is also adverting GTA3 over at IGN. My dream is that at the end of the month I will get a mail from Devin over at Rockstar telling me how much better their ads did on PA than IGN. Then he will invite me over to his house for pizza and ice cream and we’ll be best friends forever.

I don't pretend to understand the circumstances surrounding my occasional interest in RPG's. Like Tycho said it hits about every three years or so and when it does I usually pick up two or three titles. Then I inevitably get to points in the games that remind me why I hate RPG's so much and that usually snaps me out of it. Then I can go back to playing something fun like Soccer Slam or REZ.

The second (and final) portion of The Cycle can be found in your grocer's freezer. Barring that, we've also made it available on the site.

I want Scott Kurtz to have my baby. This quote of his from the Comicon thread regarding his latest strips sums up my feelings pretty well:

I couldn't be happier.

Real quick, I thought it was too good to be true, and it is too good, but it's still true. As hinted at in the ending of the International FFX, we'll soon see a bit of troubling continuity in Final Fantasy. Not that these are true sequels, mind you, there's just more story to tell. I'm glad we'll be given the opportunity to continue, as I was despondent by the end of FFX. I really wasn't done playing.

Jesus.

Well until Hunter came out I could honestly say there was no reason for me to own an X-Box. If it was just Hunter I would probably be happy playing it on Tycho's. After seeing Panzer Dragoon and Psychonauts in action though I know I need one of my very own. I have not actually purchased it yet, but I am planning on renting out the apartment next door so that I have some place to keep it.

Things were difficult enough for him when there was just the KOTOR issue to deal with. It might as well be said: like the God issue, and at least as important, the Xbox is one of the few things he and I can still argue about. But Sega's apparent dedication to the Xbox was going to reel him in sooner or later, as it did me - it was just a matter of which title was going to do it. Seeing his dragon's bug-wings iridescent in the rain was probably too much for the poor child, and flying down through columns of devastating, beautiful airships probably didn't help matters any.

Though this term accurately represents my sleep schedule, I'm actually referring to a game I saw last week.

Like Tycho I have also been getting quite a bit of mail asking for my opinions on Game "X". I honestly never even saw many of the games that people want me to comment on. That isn't to say they weren't there. A quick look at Gamespot reveals a whole host of titles that escaped my detection on the show floor. Like Tycho said, we go down there as gamers not journalists. My goal isn't to see every title on the floor or even every title in a booth. I see something cool in the distance and I wander over to it, then I see something else cool and I go over there. In fact even in our little group we all ended up splitting up. The crew broke down into Batjew, Kiko and I. We went off to look at all the action and fighting games. Tycho, Monkey and Pork wanted to see all the Strategy shit. They don't care that King of Fighters on the GBA is fucking great and I don't care that Dynasty Tactics is apparently the shit. If you want detailed coverage of all the games at the show go to Gamespy or Gamespot. If you want to hear about the stuff I liked keep reading.