I can sense it - the Qs burn within you. Let them be RELEASED!

As you might have read, our own Gabriel - whose handle I will not corrupt this time, out of deference for his ruined state - got all fucked up over the weekend. He called me Monday on my way home from work; he sounded like shit, and it was very difficult to hear. I mean, he was perfectly audible, I just didn't like it. As soon as I found out he was ensconced firmly within the Bone Zone I called my friend and colleague Kris Straub, who had backed me up before when Gabriel's frail humanoform gave way a couple years ago. I brought him "back in," as it sometimes said, and we had a pretty good time. I had a good time, at any rate. Me and the Cloister of the Crimson Arc. Kris mostly mewled as his body was made the gate for the Comic Beast.

I ended up in the hospital on Sunday getting an emergency surgery to repair a nasty hernia. I went in the morning because I was in pain but did not expect to need an operation. It was a scary night but the folks at Evergreen hospital over in Kirkland were fantastic. Everything went well and they ended up sending me home the next day. I’m in bed now recovering and I’d like to thank Kris Straub for working with Tycho to make a couple strips for you guys this week and give me a little break. Just in the last three weeks I have had the flu, horrible food poisoning and now this. I am pretty sure that if I were to leave the house today, a piano would fall on me. 2016 was a rough year but I think 2017 might actually be trying to kill me.

It turns out that very, very soon after Christmas all the stuff that was impossible to get just before that material and psychological wall is fucking omnipresent. I always do feel a certain resentment toward that which is engineered to be loved; even as a love it, I feel the teeth of the trap on my calf. The resentment is never more than the love, though. It's a human flaw I would never remove.

Once I've seen a piece of clickbait a hundred or so times I'm gonna click on it. I just am. I want to know why they won't hire Alyson Hannigan anymore ("because she's really a witch in real life"). I legit want to know what is so great about this Goddamn hoodie ("it's a functioning Fremen stillsuit"). Honestly, anything a person writes on the Internet is probably written so that another person will read it; it's not weird to be desirous of the Click. The information environment out there shapes all the creatures within it, and sometimes they turn Strange. Then again, occasionally it's warranted. So who knows.

I know that technically the “holiday season” has come to an end and we exist in a post holiday world now, but I think we could all still use some holiday cheer. That’s why I’d like to direct your attention to the Acquisitions Inc. holiday special that is available today on Amazon! This is a brand new adventure run by the incredible Chris Perkins and featuring AI players Jerry Holkins, Scott Kurtz, Patrick Rothfuss and myself. If you’re a Prime member the show is free and if you’re not, it will only run you $4.99. That’s more than three hours of D&D shenanigans for only five bucks!

Gabriel took ill, and had a vision; I have entered it into the archives for posterity, in case future generations may gain wisdom thereby.

It’s true that sometimes companies send me stuff. I guess I am what PR people call an “influencer”. If the stuff is dumb you never hear about it but occasionally I get something really cool and I’m happy to share it with you all. In this case I got two Star Wars drones from the folks at Propel and they are super cool.

The account at tycho@penny-arcade.com, having existed for several Ages as the Internet reckons time, is like a core sample of marketing evolution.

I had today's strip named "The Eyes Have It," even though we had a strip named that in 2000, because there has to be a statute of limitations on this shit. But then a Twitter Person claiming to be "Eric Baldwin" wondered why I hadn't named the strip "Vitreous Humor," which is an amazing name that I stole instantly.

When I woke up this morning, someone asked me on the Tweetzor if today's strip was based on this story, where police think what an Amazon Echo may or may not have recorded might be the key to solving a murder. It wasn't; it really was that Kara got one for Christmas and, in fact, really does like it and does play George Michael songs on it. But the strip could also be referencing Cayla, and how she is your best friend, but she is also best friends with companies that do voiceprint analysis for the law enforcement, military, and intelligence communities.

This was the Christmas of A.I. at my house. Pretty much everyone got some kind of thinking machine primed to kill. My youngest son Noah asked for and received from Santa a Hatchimal. This was a little robot creature that literally birthed itself from an egg in our living room. I have to admit to not being especially impressed with the Hatchimal. It makes some goofy noises and scoots around on the floor but overall I’m not too concerned with this thing taking over the planet.

2016 is fucking trash, and continues to be so.

There is a podcast where Mr. Gribs and I are trying to decide if we're going to go hard on this FF, and my counterpart confesses that he doesn't really understand the setting at all. We go into some of that confusion in a comic, actually: are these odd angles and juxtapositions intentional, or are they just a fucking mess, or are they the result of an interminable and troubled development cycle, or what.

Every PAX has things that give it a unique texture; The PAX South Indie Showcase - their version of the PAX 10 - is all tabletop stuff. It's a part of the show I definitely do not miss, and you shouldn't either. Here's a list of your favorite games, circa 2017:

Well, I was doing shit. I still am! But I felt strongly compelled to see the movie before this strip was released, just to head a motherfucker off at the pass. Technically, I could have headed them off elsewhere. That's true. But the pass is a very traditional venue.