It was a little over two years ago that we gave you guys one page of our SAND comic idea. We also pitched you The New Kid and Queen of Bells at the same time. We asked you all to vote on your favorite and SAND managed to beat out the New Kid but it was incredibly close. We went on to work with Gary Whitta on an outline for a New Kid movie which we ended up selling to Paramount. They are still sitting on it, but who knows maybe someday it will become a real animated movie. As for SAND we sort of dropped the ball on it and now its been two years and we haven’t made good on our promise to give your more.

Ben absolutely nailed it in his review, by the way. I did not hire him to agree with me, in fact, quite the opposite; but I think we're of one mind on this one.

Sometimes, typically to provide rhetorical fuel, our opinions are conflated with some larger "gamer culture" bugaboo. The reality is that we have no idea what is going on in "gamer culture," it's getting progressively less coherent, I can't make sense of it at all and I have officially stopped trying.

Are you guys ready to see the winners of the 2012 Dickerdoodle contest? If you’re not then you should probably stop reading because that’s what this post is about.

Eventually, role-playing games like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Paranoia, Buck Rogers, or Cyberpunk became mere covers for Dungeons and Dragons. My family's allegiance to Jehovah (as opposed to Jay-H.O.V.A.) was such that anything a stranger told you was bad was automatically bad, without the need for any exhausting or speculative cognition on our part. Generally speaking I leverage this state of affairs as a dialectic cudgel, swiping with vigor at this or that, but my mom gave me an incredible gift here that almost certainly informed my life. I think a lot of people go right to D&D, and that's it. You can play Dungeons & Dragons your whole life, I'm not gonna tell you that would be bad. It is at least as good and probably better than a lot of the shit you get up to. But she didn't let me start with it, and the reason doesn't matter now. I was made to cast a wide net, and I hauled up treasure.

Our latest PA presents project has just gone live over on the God of War: Ascension web site. It’s called the Book of Divine Wisdom and it is a (hopefully) humorous guide to the new multiplayer game modes in the new God of War.

We've been playing the game known as "Codblopsii" on what is almost certainly the wrong platform, and enjoying it too much. It came out months ago, so if you were the sort of person who wanted to play it, you probably were already; coming into that ecosystem, lousy with brutes and demigods and others who have drunk from sacred chalices or whatever and now they're level Fuck You, is a spooky proposition. They want to blood-slake their darkthirst. And, as I have suggested on countless occasions, my blood isn't especially hard to get.

What was once stuffily described as a "Keynote" but is now referred to by the vastly more humane "Storytime" will be officiated by none other than Cliff Bleszinski, who has seen a lot of shit and is in a very good position to handle this format.

In truth, he made a reasonable facsimile of The Merch; I don't know to what extent that would have resulted in a comic strip, though.

Hey, do you want to see a really big number? Try this one: $5,085,761. I have another number, too, which is even bigger. Check this one out: $17,596,670.

I’ve been playing a lot of Call of Duty recently, which isn’t strange. What’s strange is that I’ve been playing it on the Wii U. It used to be that if a multiplatform game came out, there was no question what system I was going to buy it for. The Xbox 360 was the obvious choice for a number of reasons but the biggest one was Xbox Live. For a single player game I still wanted to be connected to my friends list and for a multiplayer game, well that’s where all my friends are. Getting an invite while I was watching a movie or playing some other game to join my buddies in some CoD was great. My PS3 is a good Blu-Ray player but I don’t really use it for games except the occasional first party title. In fact I think the last thing I played on the PS3 might have been Heavy Rain. The original Wii was the same way. I figured any multi platform game is gonna look like shit on the Wii and the online experience was a joke. I kept it plugged in for Zelda and Mario games but that’s about it. So the fact that I’m not only play CoD on my Wii U but fucking LOVING it is pretty bizzare.

I was telling my sister about how when Brenna and I first moved to Seattle, we inadvertently popped into a bar which was the kind of bar you pop into if you are a lady who likes ladies. I told her the name of the bar, and she laughed and laughed. This wasn't merely a gay bar; it was apparently a very gay bar, one you might not be gay enough to enter. She said it had a "bath house" downstairs, which I was surprised to learn, because I thought that was more or less an urban legend. It was a striking piece of imagery: the town I knew, undergirded by erotic warrens jam-packed with unregulated sex.

There is a tremendous volume of advice out there to keep the universally brutal and savage male from "creeping" at conventions, it may rightly be called a genre, but there is very little advice tailored to the skulking female predator. For such beasts, the following pamphlet may provide the education these reptiles so desperately need.

I like what Erika's done with the place. This sort of thing would have been my job, circa 2000, when I was so bad at HTML that I had to invent the idea of a Newspost just to fill my stretched-out tables. It kept me out of trouble, I guess. I'm glad there's somebody who can do that now, who actually likes doing that, would probably be doing that in her spare time and just dragging it to the trash if she wasn't here doing it for us.

You’ve probably already noticed some of the results of last year’s Penny Arcade Kickstarter. The biggest one is obviously the new ad free front page here. The comic strip itself actually got a bit of an upgrade as well. It’s displaying a full 150 pixels larger than it used to. Another of the big things to come out of our Kickstarter was Strip Search and I’m happy to finally be able to dish out a bit more information on that project.

Gabe's been exposing his heir to the Lord of the Rings movies, made timely by the release of The Hobbit, and we were able to snare a strip from the second film. That may end up being the only redeeming feature of their return, because Gabriel the Younger could not possibly be more bored.