Alright - this should be the last Bioshock comic we do until the game is released on Tuesday. Monday's comic? Could be anything: immolations, loose arachnids, you name it. No doubt come Wednesday, the prior obsession will assert itself.

Ahh, merchandise! It's pounding on the door, trying to get in!

I don't know why I get my hopes up reading shit about "broken street dates" online, I'm perpetually disappointed by the results. I got a game on the actual ship date five years ago, and it's made me into some kind of Goddamned optimist. There are scattered reports that people have picked them up, and you may invest your time in this way if you are desperate, but I apologize for wasting your time.

With a couple days placed between this post and the release of the Bioshock demo, I feel far more comfortable discussing it. You know what I do, now: for example, you know that the Playable Intro as a storytelling mechanism has been refined to a ridiculous degree. You've felt the jolt of voyeurism, peering into human lives via found audio. And, perhaps most importantly, you know the dangers that plasmids pose to the young.

I watched this video myself on Friday, and then watched it again, and then watched it a third time when Khoo came in - providing commentary throughout, which I'm almost certain was unwelcome. I urge you not to watch the embedded, nasty version over at GameVideos, but to take advantage of their "Download" or "Watch Larger Version" options. This way, you can obsess as I have - pausing on each screen of the character generator or battle interface, drinking deep of their forbidden texts.

Mike Wieringo passed away yesterday. I have admired his work since I was a kid. I wish I could say I knew him but I honestly didn't. He didn't know me either but he still helped me out a while ago and I was extremely appreciative.

-Gabe out

"John Woo Presents: Stranglehold" is pretty great, much better than I thought at first. The demo presents a single level in Hong Kong, and not even a complete one, but once you've played through it you earn another level of difficulty and a new special manoeuvre. You can then complete it again for another ability and difficulty level. I played long enough to see this second technique, and did not finish it a third time, but presumably you could go on and on like that - hauling up its riches - until you revealed the deepest secrets of the universe.

I can really do without a lot of the corporate sniping that happens in this industry. Plus, as a licensed demagogue, they're horning in on my territory when they say ridiculous things or make baseless verbal assaults! I mean, I have mouths to feed. Seriously, I have more than one mouth.

After yesterday's brutal visit to the dentist, the intense pragmatism of the denture plate stands crisp and full in my mind. Brushing my teeth in the dishwasher each night strikes me as very modern, and I endorse it. Apparently those mouth criminals have decided what's best for my craw is to meter out the pain via a kind of agony payment plan.  The hygienist raised her hand at this suggestion, enthusiastically, apparently waiting for the "high five."  It was declined.   

I've been plugging away on our Assassins creed comic but I wanted to poke my head up and make a quick post about San Diego. I really want to thank everyone that came by the booth, especially those of you that came by to play or trade Pokemon. The event was actually super good for my Pokedex. I got a bunch of old legendaries as well as a shiney Darkrai that I'm sure was acquired via illicit means. Besides all the trading that went on, I also got to play a bunch of you in some three on three battles.  I think I won more than I lost which was nice but I'm pretty sure some of you were going easy on me.

While I was there I happened to see the new Pokemon trading figure game. I guess this game hit Europe like a year ago but they've retooled it and polished it a ton for the US release. The first thing I noticed was a large glass display case full of tiny Pokemon figures. They were a little bigger than the average Hero Click and incredibly detailed. The figures actually looked so good that I assumed they were special demo figures only meant for display. I asked one of the guys there in the booth if he had any of the actual production models on hand and he said I was looking at them. You can check out some really nice photos of the figures over at the official site but even those don't do them justice.

I sat down for a demo of the game and was pretty impressed. I played a three on three version of the game and it was fun if a little to simple. I'm not much of a tabletop gamer, in fact I'm not a tabletop gamer at all but this was cool. They weren't demoing it at the show but there is a six vs. six version of the game that sounded like it had a little bit more depth. The game plays out less like a standard Pokemon battle and more like a game of chess or maybe checkers.  You're Pokemon start on your side of the board and you need to move them via multiple tracks with spaces over to your opponents side. The goal is to get one of your guys into the enemies goal space. When Pokemon meet up on the board a battle starts. The base of the figure is actually set up like a little Wheel of Fortune wheel except instead of cash and prizes your wheel has attacks and blocks and that sort of thing. The battle plays out as each of you take turns spinning your figures to determine moves. Normally I don't go for games that rely so heavily on chance but the spinning mechanic was fun and like I said the six vs. six game sounds  a little more interesting. I didn't get to play it but besides adding three more Pokemon on each side it also adds Pokemon trainers with the ability to play cards with some cool game altering effects. The game is set to hit in September. What I saw was interesting and I'm looking forward to picking up some figures and giving it a try.

The highlight of the show for me was probably getting to play Eye of Judgment. Tycho already talked about it so I'm not gonna go into any detail. I just wanted to say as someone who does not play CCG's I was able to pick it up fast and have a really good time. When this game hits in a couple months find some way to check it out.

-Gabe out

Talking to an Atlus Operative at San Diego, I was able to secure for myself a copy of Persona 3. Yes! This is the game where your characters shoot themselves in the head repeatedly in order to succeed. They aren't real guns, but I doubt opponents of the medium will be looking that closely.

I spent some time talking to the Unshelved guys in the airport after the convention, mostly about Lois McMaster Bujold and Gene Wolfe, who are people I have very little opportunity to discuss in the space of a day. When I meet a person who wants to discuss books at length, I'm sure they can sense my desperation. They may even be able to smell it. My first thought is to cripple them, so they can't escape.

Eye of Judgment is founded on a gimmick - but it's a great one, and the game they've built atop it is fantastic. If you like tactical games, CCGs, or tabletop wargames, you should turn your attention to it as a flower tilts toward the sun. We've provided a helpful list of the things you'll need to really get underway. The Hood of Gra'a'kul is not strictly necessary, but it does set the tone.

That's Spanish - it means that today is the last day to preregister for PAX, exclamation point!  If you're planning on coming, it's a really, really good idea. 

(CW)TB
 

Thus endeth the The Tournémon! That is to say, with grim undertones. Also: overtones. We could, without error, suggest that it is a grim sandwich - malevolent breads flanking sinister meats.

Gabriel's actual defeat was - as Penny Arcade can now exclusively reveal - a tender affair that was largely concerned with ceding the torch of our pastime to the next generation. There are sharp disparities between the truth and our depraved fiction, as there so often are.