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Hell In Stereo

Gabriel went into incredible detail about today's strip already, so I don't think I'm one hundred percent required to. A smarter person would look at the double threat nature of a MIke Krahulik and say, "Huh. Maybe my utility here is precarious," but not me. Not me! Not having to do a post for a comic I didn't have to draw is the optimal scenair - "scenair" being the new truncation I've come up with for scenario. I wouldn't have had the time to make that great word if I'd been doing worky type horseshit.

Career Day!

I was invited to participate in the career day at my son’s middle school last Wednesday. However when I arrived I quickly discovered that they had forgotten to put me on the list of presenters. Each of the adults who came had been given a room, and all the kids had a guide book that told them who was in each room and what their job was. I am never one to make a fuss and so when they told me they would find a room for me I just smiled and waited patiently. As it turns out they had a veterinarian not show up and her room was free. As a teacher was guiding me to the room it dawned on me that all the kids I was about to talk to were waiting to hear from a vet. I was assured that this would not matter very much but I did not find that to be the case.

Active Compounds

I'm not going with him to this one, but I certainly have in the past, and it's always a little weird to figure out how to tell students what they need to know in a way that a) they can understand and b) won't make their parents really, really mad about the weirdos their school inexplicably brought in.

Barrier To Re-entry

Anthem continues to unfurl its dark fronds, casting doubt on the fortunes of a once legendary house. Such houses generally fall either to dissipation or treachery. I don't know what it would be like to toil on something with the understanding that absolutely everything relied upon it. I can scarcely imagine what it must be like to spend years in the manufacture of my own mausoleum. Who could withstand it? What happens now?

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Anthem

Anthem came out eleven days ago and so far I’ve managed to play about 8 hours of it. It’s honestly the game I most want to play right now and I try multiple times a day. Most of the time when I attempt to play I simply can’t log on. Sometimes it will act like it connected and start loading but it’s actually loading a screen that tells me I have lost my connection to the EA servers. Fun! When I do manage to get into the game, every load screen is a 50/50 chance I’ll get disconnected. If I survive the loading screens I’ve never managed to play the game for more than half an hour without a hard lock that makes me restart my entire computer. I’ve uninstalled and reinstalled 5 times. I tried playing in French because someone said that fixed their connection issues. I turned graphics settings down and updated drivers for every device I own. No matter what I do Anthem still crashes, freezes, and shits itself every time I load it up. A quick glance at the games subreddit tells me I’m not alone either.

Calibration

I like Devolver. I mean, yeah. They definitely have a thing. It might best be described as a "kink." I tried to find the particular phrasing I had used once before, but I think I might only have used it in my mind: Devolver often publishes the kinds of games your parents would hate.

Sea of Thieves

I’ve been playing a ton of Sea of Thieves lately with my family. The four of us have been playing off and on since launch but in the last month or so we’ve been playing nearly every day. It’s a great game but it’s also an incredible team building exercises for a family. When we first started I will admit we had some frustrating experiences. My boys are 14 and 8 and I love them very much but getting them to work together can be... challenging. Sea of Thieves really requires you to work as a team and that’s been a great lesson for my kids.

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Root Issues

At lunch, while Kiko and I took turns attacking the banchan, we tried to get Gabriel to try Crackdown 3. I'd never been able to get Gabriel to try the other ones, but because Crackdown was free with Game Pass (here, "free" means "ten dollars a month") it seemed like we might finally have him cornered.

Two Out Of Three

This is almost exactly the conversation we had with a beleaguered Rando, one whose only crime was being matched with us. We were dead perhaps two hundred seconds after we landed, which is much, much worse than our average I'd say. Every malevolent force aligned to shear this young man's head clean off. Arguably, in a cosmic sense, I was the blade - and Gabriel, the hand that held it.

Nite Time Is The Rite Time

Fortnite was always trying to get me to add 2fa, like… a lot, but it wasn't until Apex hit that they started pushing free Battle Passes on me. My email was full of it, and through the blinds as I was waking up I thought I saw a cloud shaped like a Fortnite entreaty. Then, when I ironically opened Tik Tok it came up at the very beginning, obscuring the e-girl factories, Senzawan permutations, and the unlikely, enduring vigor of Mia Khalifa.

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Computer Stuff!

The last time I really took PC gaming seriously was honestly around the time the comic strip started. So, about twenty years ago I guess. I can still remember keeping up to date on the latest improvements in Voodoo graphics cards. As time went by I played on consoles more and more until I had fallen off the PC entirely. I usually had a laptop or something that could run a game or two but I lost track of where the technology went. About a year ago I decided I wanted to give PC gaming another try and so I bought a computer for the sole purpose of playing games. We even made a comic about it at the time.

Constituency

EA's premium digital offerings - EA Access on Xbox and Origin Access on PC - grant early play for their titles. Except when it doesn't work, and you got the same error message people were getting in the betas. I once suggested that EA games came with "free misery," nearly ten full years ago, and it's a policy they've maintained with pride.

Champion Champions

The main new things I've learned about Apex Legends are as follows: one, the Wingman is the return of the old Pistol from Halo. Remember that? How it was a pistol, but also kind of a sniper rifle? Yeah. Except here there's also a mod for it called a Skullsplitter; I'll let you tumble to its purpose on your own. It is surprisingly, perhaps even comically effective.

Benifitar Also Good

Gabe heard Titanfall downstairs, but on multiple axes - none of which made sense. His sons were playing multiplayer, which they were able to find enough players for somehow, and Kara was playing the single player campaign.